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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

 

People are exercising their free speech rights: It is a beautiful thing

These pesky First Amendment guidelines about sexual orientation in the public schools just keep causing "trouble." Here is a two-part series with a bit of a fuss between Chad Thompson/me and Linda Harvey. I wonder if anyone will ever implement them?

Comments:
Good for you. If AgapePress says you "caved in", it probably means "stood up for something right."

I know you're not necessarily on the side of Gay-Straight Alliances, but a friend of mine recently told me she decided to be the advisor for one in her high school because of my high school experience being closeted. It was a nice feeling, knowing that other kids will benefit in having a safe space that I didn't.
 
This, echoing CK, from a 90 year old grandmother:

People will know you by the company you keep and the enemies you make.

They don't make pithy proverbs like they used to...
 
In response to regular assaults from her little brother who doesn't seem to like wearing pants, my daughter has a pithy proverb: Never surrender to someone who is not wearing pants.
 
I'm not sure that's a proverb.

More like a rule of public life.

Particularly in a corporate environment. Or a college. Of the Oval Office.

And we've never met a little kid yet who didn't enjoy emerging from their bath and go running off until chased down and re-pant-ed (to squeals, screams and laughter). Cute :)
 
Dr Throckmorton,

I was wondering how much you know about Chad Thompson. My first question is have you have asked him if he experiences lust toward women? To Christians this may seem like a sin, but to me lust is the biological urge that brings together men and women and results in pregnancy. Also, Chad says that when he received non-sexual love from a person of the same sex, that his same-sex attractions went away. Do you believe this?
 
Since I consider Chad a friend chatting publicly about his private life is not something I want to do. Email him privately, maybe he will discuss this with you, maybe he won't.

As far as believing him, sure I do. I believe people who say that this approach didn't work for them, why wouldn't I believe those who say it was helpful?
 
Should you believe Chad? First, it appears that he is making a career at identifying as an ex-gay. Books, speaking engagements, ... Second, have you ever done a study to determine how frequently people with same-sex attraction lose their same-sex attraction when they receive the non-sexual love of a person of the same gender. Of course the study should only include people who are not profiting by saying that they no longer have same-sex attraction.

Also, I don't believe everything that is told to me. Do you really believe everything that is told to you? If the overwhelming majority of people do not lose their same-sex attraction when they receive the non-sexual love of a person of the same gender, then wouldn't you be a bit skeptical of Chad's claim?
 
Rob,

It probably would be a good idea to email Chad, if you wish. He does say he's willing to take such emails.

That said: Chad has had a deal to say in public. Leaving aside the fact Chad has never "done" anything gay -- he basically exgayed himself in adolescence -- his "living as a heterosexual" appears less than one would expect of either a straight or bisexual man. Try [1] and [2] for example (both chosen because they are so generous with Chad).

As for taking his words on trust alone: personally, no. Not since some rather astounding exchanges at ExGayWatch, repeated here at Warren's blog. I still cannot image what possessed him in, of all places, somewhere people were more than likely to be familiar with certain info. [3] [4] and [5].

Those exchanges are particularly interesting given that the falsehoods were not only plainly obvious, but also completely unnecessary. For me it raises concerns about what Chad would be prepared to say in less knowledgeable or challenging forums. For whatever reason, or even without one.

None of this alters, of course, Chad's right to live anyway he wants, aspire to anything he wants or claim anything he wants. :)
 
Thanks Grandale for the info. Chad's marketing of the ex-gay myth is worse than I thought. Stephen Bennet is still worse though.

What annoys me so much about people like Chad is that groups like CWFA have brought these people to capitol hill to lobby politicians to maintain our status as outcasts. Chad creates the illusion that sexual orientation is a choice, either choose to enter a Christian treatment program and become a heterosexual, or choose no treatment and effectively choose to be a homosexual.

Also, I did e-mail Chad the question if he had opposite-sex lust, but he will not respond.
 
Sorry Rob -- "will not" or "has not"?

Big diff. :)

Chad may not be online at the moment. If you've followed his blog etc, this happens from time to time. All part of running a busy exgay francise I guess.

In any case, the particular use of words in the message -- pHelps(sic) or Thompson -- doesn't cut much ice with us. (One of us attempts NOT to do that sort of "re-framing" for a living!)

It almost like watching a "new" ad for Coke. yep, same babes jumping on beach. same dudes snowboarding. Snazzy new song and slogan.

Nope. It's always ALWAYS been always about getting people to guzzle down more of that brown, sugared, fizzy water.

Yeah, right, it's still Coke.
 
urgh, whaaat happened?

That was us Rob, grantdale. Very not anonymous grantdale.
 
If Chad had achieved opposite-sex lust, its an easy AND proud answer of "YES I DO". However no quick response indicates, should I admit that I have none, should I lie and violate my god, what should I do? Maybe I'll ignore it for a while.

Chad, there are more ethical ways to make money on the ex-gay myth. How about ex-gay underwear, guaranteed by god to provide that extra heterosexual umph to your genitals. At least you can wear the underwear. What can you do with false information?
 
ex-gay underwear???

Rob, you're not "going all Mormon" on us are you :)

-------------------

BTW: (unrelated tip for free) try Manila for frantic undergarment shopping blowout.

Makati. 8? mega-shopping malls face each other. Much of said product is sewn in Manila and exported under expensive labels.

All you need to tolerate is two charming shop girls (per shopper) who run ahead and un-box stuff if you even so much as roll your eyes that direction. No dear, I DO NOT want that ugly leopard-print thong thing... (do I look like a 60 year old German man??? Don't answer that...)

And the prices! We threw out all our skanky old undies from 3 months of backbacking in Vietnam and came home with a squillion 2(x)ist blah blah blah. The local "Bench" brand is very good value too. Very good.

Loved Manila! Charming, steaming, heaving, crazy Asia. The locals are delightful.

Ha! And Warren never guessed his blog would ever be used to promote excessive use of "foundation garments" :)
 
Hey, just a thought as I watch this exchange. I don't know the content of Rob's email to Chad, or Chad's schedule, so I'm going onto a hypothetical limb here...

But would you want to answer that kind of question out of the blue from a stranger? I understand that by being a representative of the ex-gay movement, he is putting himself in the spotlight. Still, I think he might want to wait, have a conversation with you first, and then make sure that you both have an appropriate context to put his yes or no answer into.
 
ck, when people announce themselves on Good Morning America or the Oprah Winfrey show as being an ex-gay, I believe that people in general are thinking that this person has been able to convert from same-sex lust to opposite-sex lust. This is the only REAL change in sexual orientation. If Chad can't answer a simple question like this, he shouldn't have put himself in the spotlight.
 
Rob,

some folks are content if they can simply learn to live celibate. That may be enough "change" for them.

I wish ex-gay groups were a bit more honest about what they mean by "change" (ok, a lot more honest) and not hide behind vague terms. If they went on TV and said "I don't have sex" that wouldn't make very good television so they say "I'm ex-gay" or "a former homosexual" or "I've changed" and let the audience believe that they've gone from a homosexual orientation to a heterosexual orientation.

I hate the deceit. But if that kind of change is enough for Chad, that's fine with me - as long as he gives full disclosure.
 
ooops.

I meant to sign that.

Timothy Kincaid
 
Ck - I lean your direction on this. I get all kinds of emails from people asking personal questions and I don't answer. I do know Chad is writing a second book and he may address some of these issues in that project.
 
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