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Friday, June 30, 2006

 

Cool Blast from the Past

Well, at least I think it is.

I am at the Exodus conference today. While I was eating lunch a man approaches me and says, "Hi, I'm Rich, and you counselled my mom when I was in the lifestyle." Long story short, in my former private practice in Portsmouth, OH, I counselled this man's mother who sought my help for a variety of issues, one of which was how to respond to her gay son. For instance, I supported her decision to go to his gay men's chorus concerts which meant a lot to him. Eventually, he went through a religious renewal, one consequence of which was a desire to align his behavior with his beliefs. He now directs an Exodus member ministry and says he has finally found what he wants his life to be about. His mom is also doing well. Nice unexpected blast from the past.

Comments:
What the heck does "in the lifestyle" mean? That phrase is almost as unclear as the term "ex-gay"
 
Dr. Throckmorton,

Doesn't the phrase "walking away from the lifestyle" usually mean walking away from problems like drug abuse/addiction, alcohol abuse/addiction, sexual addiction, etc - none of which are unique to the gay community? I find it interesting that so many self-identified ex-gay people talk about having all these problems, but the way they chose to deal with it is by blaming the problems on their sexual orientation and then, often, re-entering the closet - it would be an interesting world if straight people did this, wouldn't it?
 
I suspect you realize that many ex-gays use the phrase like shorthand to describe before as opposed to now. Besides, he said it, I didn't. From their point of view, they are not re-entering a closet.
 
Dr. Throckmorton,

I agree that he said it, and I probably read too much into the phrase, but alot of people who are re-entering the closet don't think they are! This reminds me of man in the town I grew up in. He went to a faith healing service and was supposedly healed of his poor eyesight. He even stopped using his glasses and started singing the praises of the healer and God. One day later he was in an auto accident because he had stopped using his glasses. It was determined his eyesight hadn't really gotten any better, he just BELIEVED it had.
 
That sounds sweet, Warren.

I'm glad that Rich and his mom had opportunities to continue to work toward and/or within their relationship while they were still in different places.

One of the things I appreciated hearing during the Love Won Out conference recently was Mike Haley responding to a question about "What if my adult son/daughter is worshipping in a pro-gay Christian church?" His answer was neither extremely affirming nor denigrating of the church, more to the effect that "If your child is seeking God, why not appreciate that and listen to what's going on with them, even when tempted to second-guess or demean their path as misdirected or wrong?"

His response, like the one you describe here, spoke to me of emphasizing relationship and commonality without giving up personal beliefs or convictions.

Good stuff....
 
I agree Steve - I think when you stop and look at gay Christians, you see Christ in them. Many gay couples stand as testament to the fact that same-sex couples are able to reflect the love of Christ. It would be nice if more people, like you and Mike, would recognize this and be supportive of gay relationships. Thanks :)
 
Whataminute! Waitaminute! Waitaminute!!!

You're from Portsmouth, Ohio?!?

No friggin' way! What an incredibly small world!
 
Friggin' Way!

PHS grad 1975, member of the 74-75 District Champs Baseball team and the Mighty Trojan marching band. Moved away for education and then came back and ran Throckmorton $ Associates until I sold it in 1993.

So were you a river rat or a hilltopper?
 
PHS 1979, marching band (Trumpet & French horn), no sports (go figure!), left town to go to UC for college. Parents are still there.

And a total river rat. Our family lived within a block of my grandparents, great-grandparents, and a great-great aunt on Williams St. That makes us four generations of river rats.
 
Man, I went by Williams Steet almost every day of my life (at least during the summers heading to the Stadium).

You didn't have far to go for band practice.

Did you know the Bias family?
 
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