Warren Throckmorton

Balanced view point? we're seen it all, blame the parents, blame the society, heck, why not blame the dog, cat, next door neightbour and 'the break down in society. Same lyrics, different song piece.

How, why and when gays are 'created' is a non-issue; what should be sorted is making sure that gays and lesbians have good roll models in their life, and the parents promoting responsibility at an early age; demonstrate that as parents, they still love the child, so that the child doesn't feel the need to go searching for love and acceptance in the wrong places.
 

I thought the article was overly generous toward LIA and Zach's parents (but as an 'ex-ex-gay' I'm bias). The author, Alex Williams, chose to omit Joe Stark's outrageous statement when quoting the CBN article:

"We felt good about Zach coming here. To let him see for himself the destructive lifestyle, what he has to face in the future." [omitted in NYT: "and to give him some options that society doesn't give him today," Stark said. "Knowing that your son... statistics say that by the age of 30 he could either have AIDS or be dead."]

As I've stated earlier, I'm not sure what Rev. Smid's motivations are, protecting his client or defend/publicize his ministry. I remember the ex-gay ministry I participated in the mid-90s claimed that there was no such thing as bad publicity. In the same manner, Rev. Smid seems to capitalizing on the national/international interest the Zach controversy is generating.

According to the article Smid "declined to discuss the details of Zach's experience, citing the program's confidentiality rules". But then he implies that the attention against LIA/R may 'abuse' Zach:

"'All of a sudden, 80,000 Internet hits later on our Web site, the world has decided that he should be freed,' Mr. Smid said. 'Maybe he didn't ask for this. Maybe he doesn't really have the personality that really is going to be able to deal with this. And they talk about our "abuse" of him.'"

Apparently Smid didn't read Zach's last blog entry for June 3:

"Thanks. Thank you for all of the comments and messages, they mean a lot. really. I was shocked to see all of this... of course I haven't been on a computer, phone, nor have I seen any friends in a week almost-- Soon. Soon, this will be all over. My mother has said the worst things to me for three days straight... three days. I went numb. That's the only way I can get through this." He continues after mentioning suicide, killing his mother and the horrible feelings inside, "I'm so satisfied--happy's too strong of a word the state I'm in-- that everyone's taking the time to email and write letters in complaint to these people. I dont know if it will do anything, but if something did happen it would be -- awesome.

Until Zach is allowed computer access, choose his own clothing, be alone for more than 15 minutes, record his own private journal entries and freely express his thoughts without parental coercion, I think Zach is going to continue receive public attention.

Norm! aka nojam75
 

Many of the people logging on to Zach's makeshift blog also egged him on to violence with some even advising him to murder his mother, father and staff workers at LIA. Not one peep from the gay community about this. I wonder why? Perhaps because they really do believe that such violence was warranted.
Examples:
# "I'm not gay and I live in ohio, but I figured I'd forward this to you anyway. Your parents are real f***wads who deserve to be stabbed in the face with a soldering iron." Posted by John

# "I hope you kill the b**** and yourself you crazy whore." Posted by brittnee
 

DL, I can't even find the comments you are referring to, but I assume they exist. Somehow you went through the 30+ pages of supportive comments and decided that these two comments were the most representative.

Secondly, these juvenile statements seem to express empathy with Zach's own statements. Who wouldn't feel like killing someone who has wronged and imprisoned them? However, Zach's own post was very careful to differentiate his feelings and actual intentions. He also express regrets having these feelings: "It's so horrible. This is what it's doing to me... I have this horrible feeling all of the time...".

DL, instead of trying polarize this issue into a pro-gay/anti-gay debate, why not concentrate on the real issues. Is it ethical, effective, and helpful for Zach to be forced into an ex-gay program? Are LIA, Rev. Smid and Zach's parent sincere in their desire to help Zach or do they have ulterior motives of defending/promoting their reputations and faith?
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

Blame falls like dust and settles wherever it finds a receptive surface.

Let's look at this with eyes that truly see:

We should never apply rules before relationship. I have said that in the past and I say it again.
What do I mean? This; too often when we have learned of how God views a certain thing instead of working on bonding and approaching it in a friendly and loving manner we come at the situation with guns blazing.

Scenario:
Parent hears of child's sexual confusion, he/she has proclaimed that they are gay. Parent jumps right on the panic wagon and begins demanding the teen gets into a program. Not talking understandingly to the teen who has come out to them but, they're in a tizzy and hypereacting. Immediate fear sets into this child and their walls of defense go up. No matter how good or meaningful the treatment, there has been damage from the beginning for this child.

Do I promote reparative therapy? Not when it is sought in this manner of, 'do iut or else'. Not when it is foisted on a teen who has not been properly prepared for it. Proper prep is when there has been healthy discussion that welcomes the input of the child.

I believe that there is much needed in the way of training families within the church. Being told by your child that they feel they may be gay is a shocking thing to most Christian parents. Pastors need to do their jobs more thoroughly with the family who may be facing this kind of shock.

Too often our over reaction to news that goes against our beliefs does much more harm than necessary. This is where the blame really must go. This same kind of untaught situation creates the Fred Phelps of the world. He has the basic concept but knows nothing about how to use it. How do you treat sinners? Since there is no better or worse sin in God's vernacular, we are left with following Jesus' example.

Parents need to apply the, "what would Jesus do" to their discipline of their children.
 

In my own case there was a lifetime of being in the lesbian behavior before I began to sort out the facts from the foibles.

It is my belief that, when a child is given basic facts about what God has done and why. There will come a time in their life where that person will begin to sense that what they are doing is not what is intended for humans. Then they will seek the truth.

Jesus must be introduced to the child as who He is, loving and protective, not harsh and demanding. After all, a child is a tender being and needs to see God in that way.

This takes patience and mercy as a parent.

I had no parents to do this with me but Christ was introduced into my young life as a loving shepherd holding a lamb in His arms amidst a whole herd of sheep. This was in a large picture hung on the Sunday School wall. That tender love filled face, as it looked down on the lamb in His arms had stuck with me until 1984 and now. This has been the one thing that led me to the Savior back then. Had it not been for a sweet woman who came to our door inviting me to Sunday School I may have never met this Christ.

So, you see, I did not need reparative therapy, all I needed was Christ and the Holy Spirit to bring me out of wrong behavior. Actually, that is the only way anyone can be so changed, no program is going to do it so it will last. The program is but a catalyst no matter what program it may be. The second need for this to work is actually the first, that is a willing heart. If the heart is not willing or is frightened it will not change.